SADLY MISSED AT 1:00 A.M.... my last prayer!

 Innalillahi wainna ilaihi rojiuun And ALFATIHAH

As the phone conversation went on, I listened intently and understood what had transpired between my cousin and her sil.  I did not interrupt.  But understood that she had to go alone and probably had to sleep there, in the Pantai Medical Center which is not far from my house.  Before she left, we had a mug of hot coffee each.  We have not seen each other since Aishah, her youngest daughter came home for a short holiday from Nottingham last August.

Today, all my children with the exception of Hafiz, went to break their fast elsewhere and obviously I had to do it alone.  Surprisingly  at around 6:40ish p.m the bell from gate rapidly sending signals.  Was I expecting any visitors?  Nope, no one had called, thought I.  But then through the vertical blinds I managed to see the vary familiar figure.  Standing there, trying to phone (again??).  Suddenly I remembered where I had placed my own.  Surely I would see many missed calls from her.  I signaled  through the window, that the gate was not lock.  She had successfully unlatched it and maneuvered her black Perdana... down the slope she drove and parked just the exact place she always used to.

First the normal "introduction" of not seeing each other for some time.  Then relating to me all her recent  TV appearances which I have missed.... they were about the upcoming "Women's Day Celebration" which would probably be taking place in University Kebangsaan Malaysia in Bangi.  The 25th... is the day!  But I would be baby sitting Harith, my little pic.  So, I probably just be sitting in  front of the TV watching the whole occasion.  It should be grand, I hope!

After breaking of fast... (she was a real God sent, otherwise, I would be breaking it all alone)... we went up to my bedroom to have our Maghrib and Isya' prayers.  We had planned to go to the Medical Center after that.  But there was some urgent note from her sil, telling of the "not so good condition" of Our Ayah Cik Lah. I    eavesdropped and overheard her saying, she should be leaving after a cup of coffee.  So, I rushed downstairs to get it prepared.

After a couple of "teh-tarik cooling-style"... (pouring the coffee from one mug to another to make it cooler and drinkable while spilling some for the ants to taste later), she told me of the condition of her brother.  That was supposed to be the second chemo treatment which he was quite reluctant to receive.  Apparently he was in the MC since last Wednesday.  I gave two Yaasin booklets for her to bring over there and told her not to stop reading like how we had done a few years back in UH for her late mom.

I remained calm and gave her a sad good bye as she left... I felt chocked as I said to her my last few words... "Please convey my salam (regards) to Ayah Cik Lah"... and away she drove in the darkness of the night.  

I took the Yaasin green booklet myself and began  reading slowly, patiently, calmly and as though he was in front of me.  The sudden tinge of sadness crept inside me together with this strange feeling... THAT he was listening, accepting, acknowledging my last prayer for him... I was in tears without knowing its vary reason.  But I felt as though I was appreciated... strange.  I was in my house and he was a few kilometers away... YET, this is how I had felt.... a very beautiful and mysterious work of Allah.  He sent messages to us both.  Alhamdulillah syukur... and my Salam to him was also delivered on time when she arrived at the Medical Center.

This is indeed a history repeating itself.  A few years ago, I was by the bedside of his late mother, doing the same... from 10:00 p.m till I fell asleep just a few minutes before her demise at 4:00 a.m.  So I did not get to witness her passing.  When I opened my eyes, her breathing has already stopped, her chest appeared calm and motionless.

This time, I stayed up just to pass my time, waiting for her phone call and went through my FB reading messages.  At one point, my heart ticked and I thought , should I call her?  But wait.  She is probably reading Yaasin for him.  I was sure she would call me if there was anything to inform.  I was right!!!   Just as I was writing some comments, at 1:23 a.m came a call, a sad voice ... telling me... of his demised at 1:00 a.m... just 23 minutes ago.  I was chocked and in tears.  Allah loves him more.  AND apparently He had answered my sincere prayers too... TO GIVE HIM AN EASY WAY OUT.... in  whatever form and whichever way that was best for him.  Amen, Amen, Amen.

Only Allah  knows what's best for His subjects. 

This is not the first time this year I encountered passing of dear persons around me... In the middle of 1994, our dear late Dr.Rofithah Hashim succumbed to her cancer.  There was a week in July, when I lost two cancer sufferers within a few days of each other.   When would our turn be??? No one knows.  It's only Allah The Almighty knows and He keeps this to Himself.  

Our duties are "Be prepared" to go back to Him with sufficient knowledge, sufficient n quality amal to guard ourselves when we enter ""alam barzakh" and to face "the Day of Resurrection."  May all be made easier for us all. Amen.

May we be reminded by all these before we LEAVE. 

WHO WENT MISSING AFTER THE LAST LAP?

11TH nOVEMBER 2009...??????

mY real LAST LAP WITH picture rendezvous was the 10th November 2009. My! Was I excited that day to share my shots of the fountain and what I captured at the park... ? It was my rare "morning stroll" which was supposed to be a jog or brisk walk. But none materialized. There was no jog. I was busy taking pictures, while Harith and his Mama were both having their normal walk...

Excited wasn't I? Yes indeed I was... the whole week I was receiving exciting news. I was rewarded with the most wonderful news in my entire life. On Sunday Harith's Mama decided to buy me a house, which is going to be next to hers in a newly developed township not too far from where we used to live three years back. MY! Was I lucky? Thank you Tasha, May Allah Bless you with Happy and successful life. Amin. You are indeed a Blessed Child.

Tuesday and Wednesday were the days for the whole clan to have flocked together to share each other's stories. Hafiz has just finished his Semester exam and had arrived by flight on a late Tuesday evening. Di had just went off to her campus for her normal lectures. No semester breaks for her. She is now , at this moment of writing, sleeping in a park somewhere within the City enjoying her curriculum camping in the "mud"... It's a survivor's camping which directly related to her nature of job (later) ... to rescue people by giving medical assistance in whatever "condition" the task requires.

Harith's Mama was back at work on Thursday. Not to loose the momentum of "walking" in the park, we (me, Harith and Hafiz) were fixing our jogging gears and getting ready to move to a bigger park. Just then, I was looking for a smaller cam that I used last Tuesday. It was not in my bag. So, probably I have left it on the table and my sil had kept it safe somewhere. I asked Tasha if she had kept it. Apparently, she did not. Anyway, we borrowed another one that belonged to my sil. This time, it's twice as expensive.

Out we went. Snapping here snapping there. A hundred over shots were taken between me and Hafiz. Night time came, it was confirmed that the other cam wasn't kept anywhere by anyone!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh GOSH! Where could it be?

Today, we drove out trying to trace where I had been the day before????? My first stop was the book shop in the campus buying some note books for my classes. Second was the shop selling beads stuff. My efforts went off fruitless...futile.... I came home trying my level best to recall what had happened, where was the cam all those while. The bag was large enough to hold it but I may have not put it properly right inside after using it (Tasha's theory).

So, no more shots from that little Canon IXUs...with the beige casing. Sob, sob, sob!
that was that! Losing the cam is one thing, forgetting something so important is another!



Now after receiving a note from Laura, about an award, suddenly I remember something else. I have not responded to an award given by GrandmaK on Friday the 30th of October... ops! See how time flies. I shall get back to them a little later as the task is heavy! I have to choose bloggers from my list to forward those rewards. AND they are really tough job to do. So, Laura and Cathy, please bear with me...

Meanwhile... I may just copy your postings on the rewards in my blog... I hope you won't mind....

THE DEMISE OF BELOVED ONES

The other night I flew home from KT after visiting my sisters and my ailing adopted mom..."The VIP lady in my life"...in my previous scribe...in my older post.

Friday night: 17th October

Took a flight TO home sweet Home...and paid a visit and to wish condolences to my immediate sister, Faezah and her daughter Nadia and son in law Din on the demise of their little almost two year old, Mohammad. This is my sister's first grandson. He was so lovable and a cheer in everyone's eyes. He passed away peacefully in the early morning hours of 12th October 2008.

The next morning visited my late Mom's grave yard which laid side by side with my late grandma, grandaunts, brother and now Mohammad. Felt the grief and sadness that enveloped me at the lost of them all BUT Allah loved them all TOO. May they all rest in peace. Ameen.

Sunday afternoon: 19th October    12:45pm

Visited my adopted mom, Tok Puan Tengku Dalam Fatimah bt.Tg.Ali on level seven, General Hospital, KT, with my elder sis Kak Zawahir. She was taken ill, deteriorating, much less talk and almost...yes quiet most times. She was earlier warded In University Hospital near my house.

I could not recognize her at an instant. She was so frail and weak. She looked different from the last time I visited her in UH, near my house. She lost a lot of weight.

29th October Wednesday evening : 6:00pm (?)  Prob.6: something 

After breaking of fast, I noticed these missed calls. Saw two of them missed calls from SNSO, TP's daughter. I then returned her calls. I was thinking instantly (1) she was trying to tell me about her mom.  (2) She was coming to join us for dinner.  BUT the second was a NO, no, no!  She was at the airport going home to see her mom who was still in the hospital.


7:23 pm:

"K.Pah, Mi nazak! They called and asked me to rush home." SNSO was on the other end.  Apparently she returned my unanswered call.

"I visited her recently...I could not recognise her at all." I told her.

"Be patient Noor, stay calm, pray and pray hard for her so that Allah gives her an easy way out"...

We both were sobbing and tears just flowed and flowed as I had my Maghrib prayer.  Had she drove home, I would have followed her.  I just couldn't bear to know she was in such situation... almost alone!  But from her office, she managed to get a ticket home.

7:30 pm

I don't feel comfortable... so I dialed another number to get some updates.

I was calling SNSO's younger sister, Sharifah Nazihah.
"Sah, how is MI?"

"K.Pah, she passed away at 6:00pm... now I am behind the ambulance taking her home to Yah's house. She was so calm and peaceful when she left us!"

I slumped in my bed! 6:00pm? The missed call was to TELL me, she had left us all. She had finally succumbed to her cancer of the esophagus after a strong and brave battle for a couple of years.

Oh Ya Allah! That 6:00pm missed call was to tell me she had gone. But SNSO did not know it that time...? Perhaps she was not informed in case she got panicky? I was so sad and grieved.

Suddenly those memories of her kindness replayed and replayed in my mind... I just could not express how I actually felt at loosing someone who has helped me a lot...to what and where I am today. I am speechless. Words just failed me. In the quietness of my bedroom, I deeply prayed for her...She is sadly missed. Now tears swelled up in my eyes...(it's 3:00 am now... I only managed to gather my strength to write about this after such a long time... so unlike Goofy Girl who had written about her dad's demise while she was talking to him... in the same evening she posted her scribe... brave girl she is).

She had opened the door to my future... I owed her to this fame and fortune I have been enjoying and she did touch so many other adopter daughters' hearts and paths in lives. I am one of them. Our relationship started back since 1972...36 years ago?????????

I just can't go on writing about her...its so melancholic... nostalgic...the loss of someone who was so dear to me... who had DONE equally substantial deeds as my two mothers did.....


May also my late Mom, late Ma, late Grandma, late Brothers Sisters and relatives, and my late Mak Ku rest in peace. Ameen.



SURAH ALFATIHAH

SURAH ALFATIHAH - TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH

ALLAH in the name of The Most Affectionate, the Merciful. All praise unto Allah, Lord of all the worlds. The most Affectionate, The Merciful. Master of the Day of Requital. We worship You alone, and beg You alone for help. Guide us in the straight path. The path of those whom You have favoured. Not of those who have earned Your anger and nor of those who have gone astray.