D Day 8th July 2011

Fresh smell of coffee had caught my nasal sensory cells.  A tray of breakfast packed with toasts, fruits and a cup of coffee found its way into our cubicle.  Politely, we told the young lady who wore crisp white shirt, black head gear and black trousers to take it away as we were all fasting.

With Sally very much complaining of getting hungry and thirsty and that her ritual is to have an early morning coffee, we just tolerated her with huge smiles.  A couple of times I could hear her making phone calls, talking in loud and speedy Mandarin language which I couldn't at all understand.  I wasn't in fact listening to her at all.  All that got into my ears were noises from her conversations.

Anyway, her distraction was warmly welcomed.  I needed that.  I wouldn't know what to expect in a little while myself.  By 8:00a.m, my children arrived to give me moral supports and making prayers for me.  My grandson, Harith also came.  By the time the "transporter" was ready to take me to where I was supposed to go, Zaza helped me climbing up the chair with a small stool found under the bed Diyanah was going to sleep the night before.   The stretcher-bed was so comfortable.  I lied down faithfully like any good girl going on a trip into the "dream land".  LOL!

At the corner of the ward, I caught a glimpse of a well dressed little Harith who is now 3 years 8 month, who had not gone to school because Wan aka ME was going to have an op.  He made sure he was present and waited until I was done with.  So faithful of him.  I am touched at his reaction.  Very thoughtful for such a little child whom I have helped to care and raise for three over years.  My little adorable baby...  He speaks fluently, making jokes interestingly and sharing ideas intelligently.  Excellent at making excuses when he did not feel like going to school.  On joyous days, he used to sing out loud most songs taught in the nursery school.  One particular remarkable rhyme went like this:


"Ok children, now stop song.  If you song, I put you in the corner!" 
Gosh!  What language was that?  We knew whose words were those.

Tasha, Harith's mom was making du'a (prayer) and wishing me well outside the lift.  Zaza by then was holding Harith up high to catch a glimpse of me.  Diyanah and all of them, were in fact following me into the op theater area.  We were passing through which route I was not sure but I saw people sitting, waiting patiently for their turn to see the doctors.  Obviously, the journey was so fast. No sooner, I was in a greenish area and there were no more familiar faces following me except the two nurses in their light green uniforms.  Suddenly I saw Tasha by my side, smiling and holding my hands.  That was my little girl, my eldest daughter who is working in the same hospital for the last 8 years.  I guess she was with me for a good 45 minutes or so and then came the anesthetist. In the end, the op wasn't done at 10:00a.m as mentioned.  There was probably another patient in the same op theater before me.

Shall I mention this?  Before the doze was given to me, I tried hard to remember the du'a made by Prophet Abraham Alaihi Salam as he was laying the stones to build the Holy Ka'bah.  I asked Tasha, but she too was lost for words.  Until a few minutes later, it came to us... RABBANA TAQABBAL MINNA INNAKA ANTASSAMI 'UL'ALIIM.  He had recited this du'a with each stone laying until he completed the building.  I guess, I have asked for forgiveness from Allah, saying my own prayers for the safety of the small op, for my safe "return" after the "doze" and of course for the surgeons, so that their work was smoothly done, no untoward occurrence of accidents and many many more were asked.

The opaque nose mask was over my nose shortly after.  Tasha was still there, besides me.  I just knew how she must have felt at those particular seconds.  I felt the same jittery wave down my spine, strong thumping of my heart and was high in anxiety when Hafiz was in the same place for "removing" of his tonsils some years back.  I sat outside the op theater reciting the Surah Yaasin for him so that he came out alive, no complications occurring and especially no effects from the sedatives to his asthma.  I knew I did not want to loose him so soon.  It was also Tasha who had the chance to see him first hand just as they had it done on him.  I was ever so relieved that Allah has given back my son after more than an hour's op.

Then it was history and everything had happened in the "land of blankness".  I went off.  Not dreaming of anything at all.  It was two hours in total that I have left my bed side.  When I opened my eyes, there was a nurse besides me and she said one simple word "Done" and I replied "Done? Alhamdulillah syukur".

Thank You Allah FOR giving me back: my faith, my life, my soul, my body, my instincts, my health, my senses and most of all myself!  It was like waiting for the taxi driver at the airport.  Once done and "all aboard", I was ushered back through the same tunnel, I saw people looking at me as I was passing.  They were probably the same people still waiting for their appointments to see their doctors or they were probably new people that have just arrived.  I was half asleep then.  The journey was quick.  Tasha and Diyanah were tagging behind fast.  AND,  I again caught a glimpse of little Harith, still faithfully waiting to see me by the lift just outside my ward on level 10.  He refused to leave. Not until he saw me out and alive from the OT.  Such a sweet heart of my life!  I saw Zaza there holding his hands.  I waved at him and gave my little weak smile.  Honestly I wouldn't know how he must have felt, what he had thought and what he had expected.

REACHING the cubicle... Sally was not there.  Diyanah told me, she saw her going to OT just as I was just leaving.  I hope she would come out just fine. The nurses were shifting me back into my bed and they left shortly after with the "stretcher-bed" to pick up another patient.

Florence Nightingale - Diyanah.

She had started to do things for me since last night.   She helped to get this and that for me while I was still "slightly drowsy".  Got me my drinks, my food - the lunch that was there before I returned and assisted me with so many things.  She was an angel.  It was also  good for her to practice helping the three of us.  I hope by the time she graduated from her Medical School, she wouldn't be so hesitant to lend helping hands whenever required of her.  The University she is studying at the moment, seems to be the only one in the entire world with a Motto "Young Mercy".  They have a very structured  curriculum and since the beginning, they were sent out to all kinds of surroundings to give aids to the community.  They are trained not just to be doctors in hospitals but they must be prepared to go deeper into the remote areas to reach out to the sick, the poor and the needy.  They are sent to The Old Folk's Home every once a while to observe, assist and give simple medical care.  This is one criteria not many urban-under-graduates qualify.  They were asked to leave if they are not prepared to work in such environments later.  I am glad my little girl qualified this.

TRANSIT NO.ONE:

By 4:30 p.m I was told to be discharged from the ward.  WHY?  Tasha had thought I was only given half  and not full GA.  Much earlier, I received a couple of visitors who are Tasha's colleagues.  One of them mentioned that she was "on-call" that night.  She would come by and chat with me later.  I was so excited to stay another night there so that I get to recover fully from the GA.  Confused with all the fuss, I just remained quiet in bed.  My friend Salina has just received some news that there would not be any surgery for her as it was getting late in the evening.  Apparently, the female patient before her was a cancer patient and she was in the OT for 4 hours.  Doctors were afraid that there might not be sufficient helps assisting in her surgery.  She was also to be discharged.

Once, things were in order at the discharge counter and  with the medication taken from the pharmacy to take home, Diyanah took a wheel chair for me to sit. She was asked to leave her identity card at the counter. (perhaps ... and in case the wheel chair never returned).. I began to feel dizzy by then and couldn't look down at all.  Here comes!  The effect of the sedative??? Perhaps it was.    We went through the lift down to where Zaza and Harith were waiting, at the "drop off bay".  Once in the car, I sat there stiffly.  Diyanah had to go up to the 10th floor again to deliver the wheel chair and get back her IC.  Meanwhile, little Harith has fallen asleep at the back of the car.  When Diyanah arrived, we left.

WHY the transit?
WE did not go home.  Why?  Zaza who was always thoughtful, earlier on checked me into a hotel for a proper resting.  

In our house... The boxes were piling up high and well scattered. ready for the movers to send to their destinations.  There was not a suitable place for me to sleep and take my rest.  Since the early morning my children and friend's children were busy dismantling all the furniture, fixtures and fittings ready to be shifted to my new yet temporary transit point.  My newly built house isn't ready to be occupied just yet.  I have started packing up my staffs, which were the most in the house, since the last fortnight.  They have been accumulated like wealth since I started living on my own. How I wish I have the same amount of wealth like those mountains of stuffs. Diyanah was helping too.  We collected boxes and boxes which totaled to  more than a hundred from a factory outlet where my niece is working.  Over the weeks we strapped them all up with masking tapes, filling them up with our personal belongings, labeling them and got them sealed.  Still there were too many things to be packed.  But we decided to let each one of us, do their own at their free time and choice.  Ready ones were transported out by car to Zaza's apartment for temporary transit.  This is a test for my children's ability to mobilize and plan logistics.

I am still amused at my neighbor's remarks just the other night, 
"Aunty, let your children have the headache this time.  Let them handle things and you just sit back and relax and watch them", that was Dr.Goh who lives uphill.  Sharing her thoughts.

As the car accelerated, I knew I was going into trouble. A painful one.  I began to feel my "best and worst of friend" coming by from deep down of my gullet.  Hastily, I asked for plastic bag (now, this is a real best friend and truly a friend in need indeed) from Diyanah and just on time as opened it up, the "visitors" arrived with all the lunch I had tucked up earlier.  The hotel was just 10 minutes away under normal traffic flow but it took a little longer as the traffic was heavier at evening rush hour.  Once emptied, which took a while with much pain from my tummy and throat that felt like a knife cutting through, I felt quite relieved.  Harith took no notice of the going ons as he was still deep in his sleep.  He was really participating with me this time... from the morning till evening.  When the car pulled over at the lobby of The Eastin Hotel, swiftly Diyanah got out of the car to get yet another wheel chair.  She was really performing and having a practical training this time.  She was ever so efficient.

Out of the car, into the lobby we got.  While waiting for the lift to arrive "another painful-energy-driven episode" came by.  I never knew that I couldn't and mustn't sit upright!!!!!!!!! Rule number ONE.

The four of us trudged along the long corridor with only the dim lights greeting us.  Oh yes!  Not forgetting the bell boy... a young man actually!  He was along with us shoving our luggage which were not big but many small bags.  Once the door flung opened, heaven was waiting!  There was comfort, the air was cool and the fresh white sheets were so welcoming.  Thank you Zaza for booking a luxurious transit point for Mummy and Diyanah.  

Now The Florence Nightingale  was working even harder.  Getting hot water boiled for Mummy, getting mineral water out for Mummy, helping Mummy into the bathroom and making sure Mummy was safe all the time and not falling down.  Such an angel.  After a nice warm bath, I took a nap.

Dinner was sent by Tasha, little Sofiya, little Harith and Rizal my sil.  Our house was just around the corner, about 5 minutes drive to this place.  They left shortly after for a much needed rest and sleep. 

No breakfast at this hotel.  So the next morning, we had it delivered by Zaza and Hafiz.  I was still feeling dizy and kept wondering why the rush to discharge me the evening before!  Then I knew.  The misunderstanding was between me and Tasha over the GA which was administered yesterday.  

Exactly this was how she had asked me:
"Mummy, is it half or GA?" and I gave her a nod.

She could have read from my folder to find out the accuracy of the info.  But she didn't.  Anyway, it was meant to be this way and it is a reward for us from Allah too...  To have a real good rest in this hotel.  Perhaps it was so deserving.  Otherwise, if I were home, I would surely get up and try to meddle with the packing that was still going on.  Alhamdulillah Ya Allah.

Just before noon, Tasha was on the phone with me:

"Sorry Mummy, we have to check you and Diyanah into another hotel because this one is fully booked for today.  By 2:00p.m we should be there fetching you".

"Oh ok with me.  Suits me fine.  But thanks for going through so much trouble for me", said I.  I pitied all of them.  Amidst the tons of self belongings to be packed, they still have the time for me.  Alhamdulillah Ya Allah. 

TRANSIT POINT NUMBER TWO+ 9th July.

(GOODNESS me... something has just turned a strong chill down my spine.  I have wrongly pressed on delete and Wow!  I thought the whole story went off just like that.  Luckily the "unfamiliar" new set ups lead me to the "draft" and they are intact... Alhamdulillah syukur Ya Allah, Subhanallah... am now sweating a little for that slight panicky moment.)

This time, I knew the trick with the journey by car.  I requested my sil,  to  recline the car seat and it proven  much better.  I had a comfortable short drive into The Crystal Crown.  As soon as I got into the wheel chair (again?), I was quite confident my "friend" from deep down wouldn't come up!  Rizal was giving me a helping hand ...BUT, the lift was a few minutes late and I was sweating from my forehead down...despite the air conditioning.  I knew it, I knew it.  There we go again!!!!!!!!!  Diyanah was so well prepared.  She had a plastic bag ready in my hands.  As we opened the door, IT greeted me!  Not much but the pain was enormous. Rizal left us both alone in this other luxurious hotel room to get back to Tasha and his children who were faithfully waiting in the lobby.  Little Miss FN played her role all over again.  She put up our luggage on the rack, getting the water to boil, turning the lights on and giving me some mineral water to quench my thirst and to comfort my hurting throat.

There were milk and juices to be put into the mini bar.  Much to her surprise there were three beer cans inside.  We found it rare to have these cans in there.  Nothing amusing about them.  I heard her calling our "teacher", Dr.Abdullah Yasin to obtain some opinions about the content and the unexpected presence of those cans.   

"Ustaz, I want to find out something from you.  There are three beer cans in the fridge when I was going to put my boxes of milk and juice.  What should I do?"asked her diligently.
"Just remove them and since none were opened and not mixed with your drinks, it's alright.  Just remove them and there was no need to clean the fridge", came the solution.


So, she called the house keeping to come over and collect them cans.

"Hello, I am from room xxx( I have forgotten the room number), am a Muslim.  There are three liquor cans in the mini bar and could you please help me taking them out?  Thanks"  was her order of the day!   From far, I watched my little girl handling things.  I knew I could trust her well.  

Within a few minutes, one of the boys arrived and took them out.  She put all our milk and juices inside the empty mini bar.  Ok, I told her, to go and get her bath before I require further assistance.  Faithfully, she did.  Almost 8:30p.m Zaza arrived with Hafiz and Harith to send us dinner.  She had smuggled the rice cooker up into our room.  The dinner was from my good friend who had invited them all, over to her pent house for lunch that afternoon.  We warmed everything up had a sumptuous dinner of beef soup, basmati rice, mixed veges, pickles, taufu in soya sauce and... ops!  They have finished the chicken.  Meanwhile, Harith has tucked himself under my blanket and did not want to go home.  He had wanted to sleep with me.  But eventually, he was taken home after half an hour deep sleep.

That leave the two of us to a very comfortable night.  I did not wake Diyanah up at all until morning.  As usual my waking up time is 5:00a.m.  From my bed, I just watched her and being so very thankful to Allah for giving me such a beautiful child.  She too deserved the best.   I knew she must have been very tired, taking care of me since the 7th July.  She was every I went.  My little angel.

The next morning, as she went down to have her breakfast at 9:00a.m., I had some porridge (beef soup mixed with rice)  from the rice cooker that Zaza brought up last night.  They were still good.  WHY?  Because they were given by a friend, a very sincere friend who has a heart of gold.  We had kept everything else except rice in the fridge the night before, so they won't go bad.  An hour past!  Diyanah was not up yet.  What might have happened to her?  Not long after, she was back.  She had "smuggled" up some fried rice and an omelet.  So!  That was why, she was a little late.  Apparently she was planning a little adventure on her way up... LOL!

At 2:00p.m, she called the bell boy for a trolley and a wheel chair.  This time, the plastic bag was in my hands but Thanks to Allah... nothing happened.  Little Sofiya was enjoying the short ride in my lap, out of the room, into the lift and out into the lobby ready to check out.  While Tasha was at the counter, settling the bills, she was enjoying a photo shoot with me and Diyanah.

TRANSIT POINT NUMBER THREE...10th July.

Alhamdulillah syukur.  By 2:30p.m we reached out transit point number three... this one would shelter us a couple of months before we finally shift into our new home.

Before we went to sleep, almost at 1:00a.m, I heard Diyanah saying this:

"Kak (sister) Zaza, thank you for giving us this shelter".... I did drop a few tears at this note.  I felt totally touched at her gracious gratitude.

I meant to drop a lot more (tears) seeing all my children turning into marvelous great kids of their life time but I withheld them... I did not want this emotion and my "fragile" state mixed them up and become something unwelcoming.  I must be strong to go through this ordeal of handling the after effects of GA... which I was NOT at all told how and what to expect.

Thank you children for your kind hearts and deeds.

there might be more coming but after taking two hours intermission from writing, I have to stop here for now.  Until the next episode... see you soon.